I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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