I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
