i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize