she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
