I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
