We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
