his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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