he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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