he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
