Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
