I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
