I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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