When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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