I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
