Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize