Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Randomize
