I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Everything about him screamed your future.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
