I can tuck mytits in my pants
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
