this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
