It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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