I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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