No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
