i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
