Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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