I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
