I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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