if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
