Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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