Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
