i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
