im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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