he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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