I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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