I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
