god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
