So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
