Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
