I saw his package. It spoke to me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just had sex on a roof
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
