Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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