I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
