i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize