he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
