I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
