I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
