There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize