We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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