haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
