It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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