That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You took a bar mat shot.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
