I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
