All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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