They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
