too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
