hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
