So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
