PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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