I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize