Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
