Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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