She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
