that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize