He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
