I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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