dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
