I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
