Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
