So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
