remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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