Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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